My 10 year internet friendship: Meeting Ben IRL [NYC]

The Beginning

I’ve been one of the fortunate ones in life. No matter which era I’ve lived through, I have consistently been blessed with friends. Whether long term, or just brief moments, I’ve had people there. As time goes on, the more I realize that the friendships I’ve maintained in my real life have long since faded away. Even with periods that consisted of being surrounded by people, there were endless times in between that I had felt my loneliest.

Roughly a year after I started blogging. Circa 2011ish?? Incredibly cringy photo…so much picmonkey editing HA. Also…stupid non-ironic poses. Yeesh.

When I was a junior in high school, my childhood bestie and I had parted ways (reuniting years later). I was a loner, and my friend circle was pretty minute back then. The temporary friends that were present, I am thankful for. They were wonderful distractions from the depression that I had constantly felt.

Deep down I knew that these friendships were superficial, even if I didn’t want to admit it. I was lonely, however. The idea of surviving the rest of high school alone, was in itself, terrifying. Thus, I became a shell of myself, transforming into whichever friend circle I was with. I laughed at things I didn’t find comical, I agreed with things I didn’t agree with, I “liked” things that I didn’t like. I realized majority of them didn’t truly cared if I had a personality or not. They only wanted to be surrounded by people who would coax their egos.

How We met

It was at this point that I turned to blogging. I decided to sign up on Xanga and write about my truest thoughts, not really caring if people read them or not. I desperately wanted to be heard, even if that just meant me being the sole reader of my own words. So, that’s what I did. I spent endless hours writing my truest thoughts and opinions; slowly re-discovering who the real Keisha was. It was freeing.

I had never felt so weightless in my entire life. It was nice being able to speak my mind without being interrupted or spoken over. My blog was my safe haven, and I had control there. After a few months of word vomiting the contents of my heart, I noticed that I had gained a reader. His name? Ben.

I had immediately taken a liking to Ben. He was everything I had missed having in a friend. Although this was quite literally a decade ago, the things I will never forget about my endless interactions with Ben are how supportive and positive he was. Not to mention, we had a lot in common…like geeking out over video games (we still do this now). Even during the darkest times, he was so uplifting. In fact, I don’t think anyone on Xanga could say a single negative thing about him.

Unfortunately, a few years later in 2013, the site lost funding and became a virtual ghost town. Before the official doomsday launch of Xanga 2.0, everyone scrambled to find a way to keep in touch. That’s when a few Xanga exclusive Facebook groups were created.

At the early stages of the newfound Facebook community, I had a habit of making promises I couldn’t keep. I was always dreaming of going off to faraway places. As a result, I had promised Ben and several other friends that I would “see them soon”! My promises to Ben never happened…until October 2019 when I finally made my promise come true.

Meeting IRL

Prior to this trip, I had this whole ingenious plan to film my perspective, and for Ben to film his. That didn’t go as planned. Mere seconds before this moment, I had dropped my suitcase down an escalator trying to ready my camera…

Before we knew it, Skyler and I were on our early morning flight headed to Newark. The second we landed, we hopped on a train and headed towards Penn Station. Ben was right there waiting for us. The second I saw him, I was overjoyed. It didn’t feel like I was meeting someone for the first time. It simply felt like I had been on a long journey, and I was finally reuniting with an amazing friend.

After we left Penn Station, Ben asked us if we would prefer to check into our hostel in Queens, or get food beforehand. Considering Skyler and I had only eaten free packs of Biscoff Cookies, Cheez-Its, and Seagram’s Ginger Ale on our flights; the idea of consuming real food was…tantalizing…to say the least.

First Day

Photo credit: Ben
Location: Grimaldi’s [ 656 6th Ave, New York, NY 10011]

He took us to Grimaldi’s Pizzeria, famous for its New York-style pizza. It was Skyler’s dream come true. While we ate, we chatted about the other Xangans Ben and I have met. Including Ben, I had only met three. Ben on the other hand, was a seasoned Xangan meetup professional.

Within the past year, I had made the decision to leave Facebook. It had developed into a toxic place that I frequented far too often. As a result, I had to sacrifice communication with the community I adored so much in order to restore my mental health. As we sat and ate our gargantuan slices of pizza, he gave me updates on the friends that I thought about the most. It was nice hearing that everyone was doing well.

After we finished the cheesiest pizza I’ve ever had in my entire life, we hit the deep dwellings of the New York City subway. He was so patient teaching us two starry-eyed, Midwesterners how to use the subway. By some miracle of God, he did it, and we learned without a hitch (for the most part).

Once we purchased our Metrocards, we swiped them, and hopped onto our first subway ride. Besides not being able to keep our balance as we stood, things went pretty smoothly. Before I knew it, we had hopped off the subway, and walked all the way to our destination. When our check-in was completed, Ben took us around Flushing, Queens’ Chinatown.

Photo Credit: Skyler

Ben and I trying to be stereotypical Asians.

A foodie through and through, Ben pointed out all of the eateries in Flushing. Including, a bubble tea shop that originated in Taiwan and is well known for its brown sugar boba. I desperately wanted to try some, but I was still recovering from the sugar I gorged myself with while I was on the plane. I had so much regret. That logic was soon forgotten once we stepped inside of the food court.

I don’t think I have ever seen so many different Chinese food options in my entire life…not since I was last in Taiwan (over 15 years ago). There were a few more bubble tea shops around, and I simply could not contain myself any longer. I needed boba. Thus, the three of us decided to abuse our bodies and get some. As we looked through the menu, I noticed that they offered bubble tea with pudding inside. To a bubble tea fanatic that lacked in expertise, I knew I had to get it. It was oh so delicious.

Photo credit: Keisha Hsiao
The pudding bubble tea I had, with delicious tapioca pearls.

When we were finished chugging our bubble tea, Skyler decided that he wanted to buy a singular chicken head to eat. Ben pointed him towards a restaurant that he said may have had them. Skyler began speaking to someone at the register, and it seemed as if he had accomplished his goal. A few minutes later, we saw him walking back to us with a generic plastic grocery bag. Inside the bag sat a clear, plastic, takeout container filled with one pound of cooked chicken necks.

Skyler was disappointed, that they misunderstood him. There he was; stuck with a pound of chicken neck, and no heads to show for it. Even though he didn’t want such a large quantity of meat, he ate some anyway. I joined in because they looked and smelled incredibly delicious. Despite the lack of meat on the actual neck, I really enjoyed the experience. The flavor was nice, and there was a spiciness to them. I can’t even fathom what we must have looked like from Ben’s perspective. What a strange scenario.

After the chicken neck debacle, the three of us decided to call it a night. Ben had to work the next day, and Skyler and I were jetlagged beyond comprehension. Like the gentleman Ben is, he escorted us all the way back to our hostel before going home himself. We were on our own the next day, so we wouldn’t see him again until our final night in NYC.

Saying Goodbye

Our final night together was spent in St. Marks eating delicious ramen and fancy dessert. Not a shabby way to end our short visit with Ben. I was incredibly excited to devour ramen that’s seasoning didn’t soley come from a packet. When Ben told us about Ippudo, and how it originated in Tokyo, I knew this moment would be a spiritual food journey for me.

AKAMARU MODERN
Website Description: A more bold translation of the original pork broth, thin noodles topped with Ippudo’s secret “Umami Dama” miso paste, pork belly chashu, cabbage, and sesame kikurage mushrooms.

Once we were seated, I looked through the menu and my eyes were instantly glued to the ramen options that included tonkatsu. I had always heard people talk about how magical and delicious it is, so I took it as fate that I was meant to order it. My decision was proven to be correct the moment I took a bite. I think the words that came out of my mouth were unintelligible. Instead of coherent sentences, the words presented themselves as delighted squeals. Yet again, Ben had knocked it out of the park with his food promises.

MATCHA LAVA
Website Description: Warm dark chocolate cake filled with matcha ganache, served with matcha green tea ice cream.

After we were done with dinner, Ben told us about this fancy dessert place called Spot Dessert Bar. He said he had only been there once prior and it was when he took his wife on their first date. I knew that if this place was first date worthy, it most definitely wouldn’t disappoint. And let me tell you, it didn’t!

We walked there after we finished eating at Ippudo. To get inside Spot Dessert Bar, we walked down the stairs to get to the lower level entrance. It was such an inviting, positive environment. They even had a skeleton hanging up for Halloween. To my amusement, the skeleton’s arm had detached from it’s shoulder and looked like it had an erection. Ben, with his infinite pun powers dubbed it the skeleton’s “boner”.

After the waiter seated the three of us, I was overwhelmed by the dessert options. They looked like works of art, and I was worried that I would make the wrong decision…that’s until I noticed the holy grail of dessert (for me anyway). Anyone that knows me knows that lava cakes make me weak in the knees. I’m also always under the influence when it comes to matcha ANYTHING. The fact that this magical dessert kingdom had combined two of my favorite things…was MIND BLOWING. So naturally, that’s what I ordered.

Ben ordered a dessert called The Harvest. It was served in a flower pot filled with cheesecake. The best part about it was you had to “water” it with some sort of earl grey based liquid. Skyler ended up getting something called Cookie Camp, which the website describes as: “fresh half baked marshmallow cookie, pretzels, and cookie crumbs served with condensed milk ice cream”. All three of our desserts were gloriously decadent.

Our final stop after desserts before calling it a night was to a store called Toy Tokyo. Skyler was in awe the moment he walked inside. It was an emporium of nothing but fandom figurines and collectibles. It was his dream come true. As he browsed around, Ben and I goofed off while we looked at the endless items for sale. At the same time, we watched Skyler in distress, unable to decide between the two items that he would buy. A long while later, he finally decided. Even then, I could tell he was still second-guessing his decision.

We headed back to The Local NYC after Toy Tokyo. Skyler and I had an early Amtrak to catch early the next morning so would we could begin part 2 of our mini adventure. Benster also had work. Before we knew it, we had made it to the final subway stop. As we walked with Ben to our hostel, he quizzed us to see if we could remember where to go from memory. I was so tired and delirious at this point, and everything looked the same. Somehow, we managed to find it.

We said our goodbyes, and hugged. But before Ben left, we wanted to get one last selfie before he departed. This part, I will never forget. It was simply just too wholesome and funny. As we struggled to fit all three of us into the frame, a nice Asian man offered to help us take a group photo. We let him take a photo of us, but because there were 2.5 Asians in the lobby (including the nice Asian man) , it looked like the four of us were traveling together.

Sitting in the lounge area behind us was a nice woman who walked over to us. She offered to take a photo of the four of us, but because she and the nice Asian man were foreigners, there was a miscommunication between them. He tried telling her that he wasn’t with us, but she mistook him for being too modest. She insisted that she take our photo, and that it wouldn’t be a burden to her. He finally caved to her kindness, and she took our photo. Not once, not twice, but at least three or four times…which was incredibly kind because that meant she wanted to ensure that there was at least one photo we liked. Each time she took a photo, we couldn’t help but laugh. Once she was done the kind Asian man left, Ben following not long after.

It was a bittersweet goodbye. I was so happy that the two of us could finally meet in person; especially after knowing each other for 10 years. Knowing that this trip only made us closer was great, but that just meant the goodbye was tougher since our next reunion wouldn’t be for awhile. Despite the sadness, this trip was definitely a good way to close the end of the 2010s decade. It began with the creation of our digital friendship, ending with us finally meeting, and then finally turning into an IRL friendship. It’s poetic.

Photo Credit: Ben T.
Skyler, Ben, and I saying our goodbyes before the hilarious photo situation.

Photo credit: The nice lady stranger.

The most hilarious and wholesome moment of my entire life.