Dreaded Social Circles: Making Friends (Adult Edition)
Fuji Instax taken by my friend T. Photo of the photo taken by me.
Weird est. 1991
Much like Lydia Deetz, I myself am strange and unusual. My entire life I was always a little (a lot) more morbid and creepy than the average Joe. In elementary school I had a best friend that matched my energy, but eventually he moved away. The two of us were so fascinated by horror and death, perhaps because it seemed to follow us. Maybe it was the passing of our elderly relatives, or the passing of our young classmate. Either way, the two of us didn’t process traditionally. I suppose you could say we were a carbon copy of Wednesday and Pugsley Addams, disguised as two innocent, unassuming children.
Together at recess, the two of us would act out Halloween (1978) on the playground. It was our own invigorating revision of tag. He would chase me around the playground, while I, Laurie Strode, would run away terrified. Sometimes Laurie’s endings were unhappy, whilst other times she would get away.
I fondly remember other moments with him, oftentimes spent in his eerie childhood Victorian home. The two of us would huddle around his Windows 98 computer, with me watching him meticulously build epic rollercoasters in Rollercoaster Tycoon. On the occasion, he would turn to me and tell me ghost stories about the lady that kept him company at night.
Eventually when he moved away, I had to find a new group of friends. It was a rocky time, with moments of getting bullied sprinkled in between. No one ever really stuck the same. A few friends had similar interests, but I always felt the need to hold back my personality. Ah, the joys of self-preservation. Blending in or remaining invisible were often my two tactics for adolescent/teen survival, because surviving middle school and high school for anyone is R-O-U-G-H.
(I never really did succeed at suppressing the weirdness though.)
Too “Old” to Care
It’s true what they say, you really start to come into your own as you get older. The stressors of life become more frequent, and the things that once took precedence over all else don’t exactly matter anymore…not as much anyway. The want for human interaction is still there, but the need for having a large group of friends fades away. I used to think having an endless stream of friends was what life was all about. Then as they started trickling away, I noticed I wasn’t as sad. In fact, I wasn’t sad at all.
Constantly molding myself to fit into someone else’s existence had no pay off. It was downright exhausting. As I care less and less about muting my quirkiness, I realize that the friends that are meant to be, stay. Those that don’t, move onto what’s next (and best) for them, and that’s okay. It’s the ebb and flow that comes with life. The beautiful thing about this is, once you remain your authentic self, there’s a magnetic field that attract fellow weirdoes like you (or rather me in this case). Albeit, the process of making a more concerted effort to step outside of my comfort zone sucks…but it has its rewards.
Putting yourself out there is kind of like being a ghost hunter and using dowsing rods to lead you into the direction of spirits. You can’t see them but you know they’re there. That’s the way it is with the living. You make yourself known, and before you know it, you’ve made contact and it’s a momentous event. At least that’s how it’s been for me when it comes to meeting fellow weirdoes like myself.
Time to Get Social
This topic brings me to recent events. I’ve recently-ish met a cool group of ladies through my friend Gillian (more on that event later). It was the first time in a long time that I didn’t need to NOT be myself. No matter how old you get, I don’t think that exciting feeling of fitting in ever fades away. I could make jokes with an absurd sense of humor, and they’d laugh. Sometimes they’d even crack jokes in a similar manner back.
It’s been a long while since I co-existed with humans without having to worry about how I am perceived. The love and support pouring from the hearts of these ladies genuinely made me feel happy and comforted in such a deep way. After you get burned a few times, you sometimes forget what bonafide sincerity is.
I’m not sure when I’ll see them next, but I know that when I do, it’ll be a positive time for us all. Just a group of phenomenally dark humored, quirky ladies letting loose and being our authentic selves. I hope those of you reading this get to live this luxury soon (if you’re not already). What can I say? Making friends is like dating, sometimes you have to put yourself out there in order to get what you want.
Good luck!
Keisha