I was laid off.

Photo credit: Keisha Hsiao
Pictured: A photo I took of the sunset before I closed up shop.

Less than a month after my return from Taiwan, life hit me with a curveball so unexpected that the only reaction I could give was a smile.

Exactly a week ago I started my day as usual. I rolled out of bed, brushed my teeth, washed my face, got dressed, and went to work. My 20 minute commute was spent daydreaming about becoming a professional roller skater, dancing around sidewalks under a gentle, spring sun. Almost as if I were Gene Kelly. As random as this fantasy of mine may seem, it didn’t just come from out of the blue.

While I was away on my trip, my boss told me that I was given a raise. I was ecstatic! Three days prior to receiving the “bad news”, happened to be payday. This particular payday wasn’t like any other. It would be the first to incorporate my new raise. To celebrate I spent…lots of money on roller skates (more on that later). For the first time in a long time, life felt GOOD.

However, I was brought back to a harsh reality the moment I walked into work on that fateful Friday. I was asked into my boss’ office. Instantly the atmosphere was grim. My boss and supervisor stood there, with regretful expressions painted across their faces. With chipperness and a hint sarcasm, I asked my boss, “Oh God, what did I do”? In his response, I noticed a sad heaviness in his voice. “You did absolutely nothing wrong, but you may want to sit down”. And so I did.

He slid a paper across the desk. The paper itself explained why my position was being eliminated. I guess the exact term used was “reallocation”. The funny thing is, my position is being reallocated to nowhere. It’s just become a position that will cease to exist.

My boss then informed me that my last day would be on March 20th. Instantaneously (and unexpectedly), I felt myself become overwhelmed with pure, unadulterated joy. I could feel a giant smile creep across my face. My grin was so huge, there was no disguising it. In fact, I thought I had transformed into the Cheshire Cat himself.

The only thing I could say was “It’s okay, I know it’s not your fault. I hold no ill feelings towards you or anyone else here”. Both he and my supervisor responded, almost simultaneously, with “It’s not okay. You’re losing your job and it’s not fair”.

…and, they were both right, it’s not fair. But that folks, is life.

I spent the rest of my work day dancing and prancing around the office, continuing to smile. My supervisor told me she had found out the night before and spent all night worrying. Everyone else was taking the news harder than I was.

I know had this been a year ago I would’ve been a complete mess. My trip to Taiwan was one of the most physically and emotionally grueling experiences I’ve ever endured. It made me stronger, and allowed me to grow into a more functional human-being. Had it not been for this trip, I’m afraid to think about the emotional turmoil I would’ve put myself in. That alone has led me to believe that none of this is a coincidence.

Truthfully, I had been thinking about moving on from my job anyway. Albeit, I had been too timid to make any real decisions toward my ultimate goals—mainly due to the fear of the unknown. Instead of viewing this sudden change as a negative thing, I’m choosing to see it as an opportunity to fully reset myself. After all, life is what I make it.

Later dudes,

Keisha